Asides

Interesting stuff about various matters! Often not suitable to be posted in other categories.

Internet blackouts

The internet situation is beyond bad. Calling it “the internet” hardly makes sense anymore. Nearly everything is cut off. A few VPNs, made available by free-internet activists, work sporadically and only for short periods. There is no real access to anything: no email, no international websites, nothing reliable. Verification SMS messages don’t arrive. All we hear from the regime are the same hollow promises about restoring access “today or tomorrow.”

Maybe one percent of people can connect to the global network, and even that connection usually collapses after a few hours. What’s happening to us goes far beyond the loss of internet access. It’s difficult to even put into words. Language fails to convey the true scale of this disaster.

I wish there were a rescuer.

Alone and lonely

Words can’t explain our suffering here. Nothing can express the pain we are in. You have no idea what has happened to us.

This to remember those days. No internet, no SMS, and no phone calls. Absolute silence, cut off from everything. Hopeless. Helpless.

My lost brothers and sisters, may you rest in peace. You’ll be missed but never forgotten.

I just connected to internet using a VPN. I don’t know how long this will last and whether we experience another complete blackout or not but let this be a reminder that we lasted this long trying our best to better our lives and make a future for our children and we’re still fighting.

Aside

I finally watched The Lord of the Rings . I can’t believe I waited this long. There are so many amazing movies I haven’t seen, and I am trying to catch up.

It took me four days to finish it, taking 10 hours of my time to fully understand everything and I realized I really need to watch The Hobbit and read the books to get the full story.

No regrets, though. I had a lot of fun, and I am really glad I finally gave it a shot.

Ups and downs

Life’s got a lot of ups and downs and I learned to deal with them. There has been a lot of pressure on me lately, lots of disappointments. I tried my best to keep my spirits up, show strength, and act strong but sometimes you just need to decompress.

I’d like to listen to my favorite music, watch some National Geographic documentaries, eat food, and read some interesting articles. This fuels me to be able to battle my problems head-on.

I’ve faced setbacks in my life before but I’ve learned that it’s not the end of the world. I always say that everything happens in its own time and I truly believe in it. I don’t sit and upset myself over something I have no control over. I try my best to turn the situation, if I succeed I’ll be happy and if I fail, I know I’ve tried my best.

I don’t worry about the future I’m unaware of. I’ll try my best to plan for upcoming situations but that won’t make me live in constant distress. I want to live, not just be alive. I won’t ruin the moments I can enjoy because I don’t know what will happen to me.

Right now I’m listening to “Walk My Walk” by Breaking Rust, drinking green tea, and getting ready to take a training course on a computer program that I use in my job. I won’t let these ups and downs knock me off my path.

Gilan Province (2)

A slightly low-angle photograph of an empty park bench nestled on a small, grassy mound under a large, bare-trunked tree. The bench has a black metal frame and worn wooden slats painted in bright orange and reddish-brown. Fallen autumn leaves litter the ground around the base, and a dirt path leads off to the right. In the blurred background, other trees and an open, rolling field can be seen.
After a ride up the Lahijan Gondola lift in Gilan Province, we found this colorful bench to enjoy a moment of peace and the mountain air.
A stunning panoramic view of a mountain landscape above a thick layer of clouds. The sky is a clear, bright blue near the top, fading to a pale blue-white at the horizon. The slopes in the foreground are covered in deciduous trees, many with bare branches or muted autumn colors like deep gold and brown. A patch of the distant hillside is brightly lit by the sun, contrasting with the shadowed foreground. The vast, flat layer of white clouds fills the valley below, looking like a serene, endless sea.
After an hour of driving to Deylaman.
Passing through clouds and jungles.
A moody, wide shot of a dense, dark green forested hill rising steeply up to meet an overcast, cloudy sky. In the foreground, below the main forest line, there is a distinct band of cultivated tea bushes or low shrubs growing on the slope. The light is diffused, giving the scene a soft, slightly mysterious atmosphere.
My lunch view: The perfect scene of lush tea fields and dense jungle on Lahijan’s Devil Mountain (Sheytan Kuh).

Vank Cathedral, Isfahan

Intricately painted dome ceiling of Vank Cathedral in Isfahan, decorated with biblical scenes, golden floral patterns, and angelic faces around a central chandelier.
Intricately painted dome ceiling of Vank Cathedral in Isfahan, decorated with biblical scenes, golden floral patterns, and angelic faces around a central chandelier.
Quiet courtyard of Vank Cathedral in Isfahan with adobe-colored walls, a wooden door, a small tree, and clear blue sky overhead.
Black and white, low-angle shot of a narrow alleyway or courtyard leading toward the base of a clock tower, likely Vank Cathedral's bell tower, framed by two tall, plain, untextured walls on the left and right.

Visited the Armenian Holy Savior Cathedral, also known as Church of the Saintly Sisters, and it was awesome. So much history, beauty, and amusement.

It’s also known as Vank Cathedral, which means “monastery” or “convent” in the Armenian language.

Great experience. I’m currently in the city of Rasht, Gilan Province, north of Iran. Getting some peace of mind and rest.

Nothing is right

I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure lately, both in my personal life and at work. Nothing feels right anymore. It seems like everything is off balance.

It’s not just me. The situation in the country keeps getting worse. The economy is declining quickly, the political news is always negative, and there’s a constant tension in the air. Every day, there are more rumors about war starting again. It’s exhausting.

We’re losing hope bit by bit, and the future feels unclear and uncertain. There’s no guarantee of a safe future right now. I hardly get any sleep at night. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing I’m surrounded by the people I love.

Sometimes I feel jealous. I see my friends overseas talking about starting new jobs, attending seminars, or taking trips to cities they love. Their biggest worry is choosing between good options or pursuing their passions. I’m genuinely happy for them, but deep down, I can’t help but think this should have been our life here too.

I tell my friends here that everything will be fine, that the future is bright and we’ll get through these tough times. But even I have doubts. I’m not sure about anything, but I try to stay calm, be kind, and keep hoping and working for a better future.

I really do my best. I want to make things right. I want to contribute to projects that matter to me, be active in the communities I love, be productive, help others, and share what I can. But what can I do when I’m feeling desperate myself? It can be terrifying at times.

Just to be clear, I’m not looking for anyone’s pity. I’ve written and deleted this post many times, but I need to get things off my chest. I remembered why I kept this blog up and running: to write what I can’t say out loud. I apologize if this caught you off guard, and I’m sorry if you’ve been a victim of my poor social skills.

Funny cat meme showing a close-up of a wide-eyed orange cat with text that says, “I apologise to everyone who has been a victim of my poor social skills,” humorously expressing social awkwardness.